What do you do when your mind is there but your heart isn’t? When you know what your sin is; and you know what’s right, and you know what’s wrong, and you know what you need to be doing versus what you don’t need to be doing. Your Mind knows but your heart just isn’t quite there yet. So you don’t feel much guilt over your sin even though you know something is sin. Can you relate to this?
It’s like there is a gap between your head and your heart. You have heard all the right answers and all the rules but you just can’t connect the dots. Then when Sunday comes around you feel like you are an “unsatisfactory Christian” and God is upset with you because you aren’t “keeping up” with the people around you. Or maybe you are in a situation you can’t control and you simply don’t know what to do. But know this, God has you right where he wants you; he knows the pain in your heart and what’s holding you back. In the bible there is a recurring phrase “Wait on the Lord” and some of you are just stuck in the waiting room.
Waiting rooms can be horrible places. When you are sitting in a waiting room, with very little information, and you are holding your breath in expectation of answers, that wait can feel eternal. You know the feeling, you need the answer but you just can’t get it. Waiting on the Lord isn’t any easier. Waiting means giving up expectations. Waiting means giving up control and giving control to God. But consider this question; when you look back on your life, can you see how times of suffering and/or uncertainty prepared you to serve God and others?
Trust God when He puts you in the waiting room. He knows what He’s doing.
In Psalm 42 David is literally in an argument with himself. (I encourage you to pause and take a moment to read it.) He screams phrases such as “Put your hope in God; put your trust in God; Serve God; Walk with God; Why you are so downcast my soul”. He even asks God “Why have you forgotten me?” (v.9) He truly feels hopeless. He knows what’s right and what he should do. But, he really doesn’t know what to do. He’s in the waiting room.
So if this is you, how do you wait on the Lord? To wait on God you must position yourself in the beauty of Grace and you wait; while you walk in obedience, one step at time, one day at a time, not striving for perfection, but striving for patience. Psalm 62:5-6 says “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken.” Ask God to break your heart for what breaks his, ask God to restore the joy of your salvation to you, ask God to let you truly understand grace, and you wait…
Why? Because “They who wait for the lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31(ESV)
“Sometimes it just takes awhile for my heart to catch up with my head. In the meantime I will remember to breathe and let go of what I can’t control. Instead, in the darkness of night I will cling to the promises of what I know to be true in the light.”